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Life is in the Transitions

Mastering Change at Any Age By Bruce Feiler

  • What shape has your life story taken?
  • Lifequakes shake the foundations of our existence.
  • Disruptorsaffect every area of our lives
  • Lifequakes force us to reevaluate what makes our lives meaningful.
  • Lifequakes are by their nature disorientating, and even scary. But they also present opportunities to reevaluate our lives and what makes them meaningful.
  • We can't always control disruptive events, but we do control our response to them.
    • ABC stands for autonomy, belonging, and cause
  • Rituals help us to say goodbye to the lives we're leaving behind.
    • We can turn destructive events into meaningful transitions, but this requires practice. Luckily, several key tools can help us become masters at dealing with transitions.
    • The first tool we need to master is acceptance
    • A very normal reaction to experiencing a lifequake is denial and resistance.
    • Acceptance can strike in a sudden epiphany, or a series of slow realizations.
  • All major transitions involve a messy middle, where we feel very lost.
  • Our creativity can help us to create a new chapter in a transition.
    • Every major religious narrative and fairy tale recognizes the value of being lost. Jesus was cast into the desert before he had a major epiphany, and Mohamed gained his wisdom on a mountaintop. The most formative experience of Red Riding Hood's life would never have been possible if she hadn't wandered into that forest.
  • We need to create new life stories that integrate our transitions.
  • Actionable advice: Pay attention to small wins.